When we feel activated in any way the most important starting point is to pause. We are trying to slow everything down. Oftentimes when we are in this agitated, anxious, upset, angered-you name it- space, our minds are racing and our hearts are beating so quickly and we are dysregulated. When that’s the case, we don’t get to have access to our prefrontal cortex. This is where we have decision making, executive functioning, and our logic and rationality.

So, what we need to do is try to move that back online. And we are going to do that in a few different ways. But to even get there we’ve got to pause and notice what’s even happening. One of the ways I like to do that is to close my eyes, to center myself, hand over heart, take a deep breath, and just notice. I can already feel myself slowing down. I can already feel myself coming down from the rungs of the latter, so to speak.

I Check In With Myself

And I ask myself “What am I noticing?”, “What do I feel?”, “What am I anxious about?”, “What am I really angry about? Is it this situation or is it something else? Is it something beneath?, “What is this escalated feeling, emotion, or thought trying to tell me or teach me?” When we slow down, we give ourselves the opportunity to recognize truly what is happening. Not our first knee-jerk reaction, but really understanding what our body is trying to tell us with these physical sensations.

Many times, especially in the beginning when you are practicing this new technique, you may feel like you didn’t get any information from your body. You might have asked yourself this question or these questions, and nothing came. You’re still agitated, your heart is still racing, maybe you’re sweating or there is a put in your stomach-you name it. If that’s the case, we’ve got to consider that your body needs soothing before we can soothe your mind.

So, Here’s the Deal, With Somatic Practices and Body-Based Information, We Bring in the Vagus Nerve.

Our vagus nerve is the longest nerve in our body, which goes from the base of our skull all the way down to our belly and back. It’s a superhighway of information. The vagus nerve is a mixed nerve composed of 20% “efferent” fibers (sending signals from the brain to the body) and 80% “afferent” (sensory) fibers (carrying information from the body to the brain). So what that means is if our body is dysregulated and we’re having a somatic symptom or symptoms, we need to address that 80% before we can even attempt to access the 20% cognitive space. If we are dysregulated, we need to regulate or soothe that part of us first, somatically. Then we can get to the cognitive piece. So, essentially we’re working on regulating our body first and then our thoughts.

So we can do that by a few different methods. My first “go to” that I absolutely love, is breath work. Why I love it so much is that we always have access to it. It’s there when we need it, you just need to remember that it’s a tool to be used. One way to begin to balance your breathing is starting with a breath technique called an “even breath”. We’re going to do it on a count of 4. Even breath simply means you are going to count the same number on the inhale as you are the exhale. So, that would look like an inhalation, counting to four, an exhalation, counting down from four.

Why Breath Work is a Powerful Tool

Ideally, specific to what we are trying to do here in regulating our nervous system or soothing our body, is to do the inhalation through the nose and the exhalation through the mouth. So, we are going to try to count it out here. An inhalation through the nose, 1-2-3-4, then an exhalation through the mouth as if you are going to try to blow out the candle but you’re not going to completely extinguish it, 4-3-2-1. You’re going to do four sets of that, let’s keep it easy with the number four. So again, inhalation of four through your nose, and an exhalation of four through your mouth. And you’re going to do that 4 times.

The next breath work exercise that we’ll try is we are going to make your exhalation a couple beats longer than your inhalation. Now, when we do this, it moves our nervous system from the sympathetic branch, that’s your fight or flight, over to your parasympathetic branch, that’s the rest and digest. We can accomplish this by that longer exhalation because it stimulates the vagus nerve which moves us into the parasympathetic. So you can think of parasympathetic like a parachute, if you are trying to remember the differences. Parachute and parasympathetic, you’re just coasting. You’re calm, you’re relaxed.

So, Let’s Use the Same Number of “Four”

What we’re just going to do is 4-6. So, we are going to do the same inhalation through the nose with four. This time when we do the exhalation, we are going to exhale for 6. We are going to do diaphragmatic breath work, and we are going to inhale for 4. We are going to inhale through our nose, and our goal is to get that breath down into your belly. We want you to see your belly push out. We want to see Santa’s belly, Buddha’s belly, whatever you want to call it or whatever other visual works for you. With diaphragmatic breath work, this is something that helps your nervous system move over to the parasympathetic by activating your vagus nerve.

So, back to the exercise. We are doing an inhalation down into your belly for a count of four, then we’re going to exhale. The same exhale as if we are blowing out a candle, not to extinguish it, just a gentle blow. This time we are going to do it for 6. Why we do a longer exhalation is to move our nervous system over the parasympathetic branch. Longer exhalation offers us that addition. And you can do that for a quantity of 4-6 times. Whatever feels right to you.

Now Your Body Should be Soothed

Hopefully, at that point, you slow down enough that your body is soothed, at least more than it was when you started. But now here is the thing, these are not immediate tools. Sometimes breath work will work right on the spot because your body responds to it. But please keep in mind, it does take practice. Practice, practice, practice. And please remember to practice beyond the times when you are actually needing it. So, I highly encourage you to practice these techniques, any time. Maybe you’re driving, maybe you’re waiting in line somewhere, or maybe you’re on a break or at lunch.

It is important to remember, not just when your body is activated because we want your body to know and become so familiar with it that it recognizes what you are trying to do, so when you are in an activated moment and you bring out this tool your body is like “Ah! I know this. I know what they are trying to do. Let’s do this!” So, once we are in that more regulated, soothed space, then we can bring in some more of the cognitive tools. That’s part of the 20% of our body’s information. Where we might bring in some thought challenges, thought replacement, etc. That’s going to be for next time!

Interested in Breath Work and Other Somatic Practices with Marilyn Ashley, LMFT?

Be sure to stay tuned for more informative posts on somatic practices and how they can help regulate our nervous system. In the meantime, keep practicing your breath work and other grounding techniques to build a strong foundation of self-regulation. Remember, it takes time and practice, but with dedication, you can learn to soothe both your body and mind in times of distress. I’m Marilyn Ashley, a holistic therapist based in Hermosa Beach, CA. My goal is to help you find balance and healing through a combination of traditional therapy and somatic practices. Interested in working with me?

1. Schedule Your 20-Minute Complimentary Phone Consultation
2. Learn More About Me and My Services
3. Let’s Move Your Nervous System to a Place of Peace and Calm!

Other Services Offered By Marilyn Ashley, LMFT

Breath Work is just one of the services I offer. I use this approach to prepare your body for deeper, more effective therapy. I specialize in life transitions, relationship dynamics, trauma and couples therapy. For your convenience, I also offer online therapy sessions. By using a combination of traditional therapy and somatic practices, I can help you find balance and healing in all areas of your life. Together, let’s work towards building a healthier mind, body and soul.